


Small and Nimble

by CherryFlavoredSpades



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: 5 Times, Complete, Gen, Light Swearing, One Shot Collection, Roy Mustang swears three times, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:21:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28642134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherryFlavoredSpades/pseuds/CherryFlavoredSpades
Summary: Edward Elric always complains about being short, so here's five times being short was an advantage.
Relationships: Alphonse Elric & Edward Elric & Team Mustang
Comments: 1
Kudos: 77





	1. Under

Colonel Mustang and Lieutenant Colonel Hughes stood in the busy, police-filled street. Hughes sighed as he rubbed his head, “What are we going to do? We can’t find those plans anywhere.”

Mustang rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration, “First I called this man an idiot for even writing his plans on paper, but apparently it doesn't matter. How can you hide one lousy piece of paper from the entire military?”

A terrorist had planned to make a bomb to half of the Central. He had all of his plans written down on one piece of paper, but unfortunately for them, all they could find at his home was his cat. They had nothing to go by.

Hughes spoke, “Let’s face it, it’s hopeless. He’s gone. His plans are gone. Heck, we couldn’t even catch his cat. What’re we gonna do, Roy?”

Rushed footsteps ran towards the two. They looked over and saw Hawkeye and Havoc. When they finally approached, Hawkeye announced, “Sir, have you seen a cat around here?

Mustang furrowed his eyebrows, “What? A cat?”

Havoc huffed, “It has his plans on its collar. We can’t catch it.”

Hughes, aghast, said, “Seriously? If only Gracia or Alphonse were here; they love cats.”

A voice called out to them from down the street, “Hey Colonel!”

They turned and saw Edward and Alphonse carrying paper bags full of groceries. Edward called out again, “Colonel! What’s going on!”

Mustang responded coldly, “We’re looking for a cat.”

Alphonse quickly told Edward, “Brother, I don’t have it. I swear.”

Edward was about to say something else when a group of military officials ran towards them. One of the ones in the front pointed and yelled, “Stop that cat!”

All over Team Mustang ran towards the direction, the Elrics dropping their groceries in the process. They spotted it, a calico cat wearing a teal collar with a folded piece of paper hanging stuffed in it. They bolted after the cat until it reached an alleyway. It was blocked off by a chain-link fence, but thanks to a small hole at the bottom, the cat easily ran under it.

Mustang complained, “Dammit! We’ll never catch it now.”

Without hesitation, Edward slipped his red coat off and dived into the hole. He easily slithered through and continued to run after the cat. It jumped over and through garbage cans, but Edward could as well. At the end of the alley, the cat crouched and tried to pounce when Edward dive-bombed and grabbed it by its scruff. HE triumphantly shouted, “Gotcha!”

He, used to all of Alphonse’s cats, easily carried it back as it growled at him. When he returned, some other military officers had a travel kennel. He slipped the cat back through the hole first, and it was immediately placed in its cage. He then climbed back out as well. When he stood and dusted himself off, Hughes said, “Quick thinking, Ed”

He nodded, “Thanks”

Alphonse silently handed him his jacket back. Havoc realized, “Oh! Let’s go get your groceries.”

The rest of the team gathered all of the abandoned groceries. It was the least they could do for Ed.


	2. Over

Team Mustang, along with Hughes, Major Armstrong, and other military officials, were scrambling around a series of empty metal warehouses on lots of cracks and worn concrete, much like the military used. They had reason to believe that the woman, a terrorist that had been planning on bombing Central, was hiding her gadgets in one of them. It was night and freshly rained, meaning it was hard to see and slicker to walk, so their job was even harder than normal.

Breda grabbed the bottom of a metal door on another warehouse and hoisted it up with ease. This one was empty. Again.

One of the military police ran across the slick concrete and towards Mustang. He quickly saluted before announcing, "Sir! We believe we have found it!"

The Colonel barked, "Then what are you waiting for? Get it open, Soldier!"

He and two other soldiers tried to lift the door, but it didn't budge. Major Armstrong said, "It must be locked."

Hughes started planning, "We can't just blow up parts of the building or else we risk her bombs going off."

Mustang nodded, "And we can't use alchemy. We don't know if there's an alchemy induced bomb on the door."

It sounded stupid, but he couldn't recall how many times he'd tried to open a locked door that had a hidden alchemy circle. If he wasn't the Flame Alchemist, he would surely have been burned by now.

Alphonse, clanky as he moved, pointed upward at the building. He knowingly said, "Look, Brother, an air vent!"

Edward stared at it mechanically, "Hmmm. You're right. You think you can get that screwdriver out of your foot without anyone noticing?"

Alphonse nodded, "Probably."

Edward slammed his right fist into his open left hand, "Alright. Let's do it."

Hughes spoke up, "Woah, slow down there. What're you two boys talking about? What's this about an air vent?"

Alphonse answered politely, "Mr. Hughes, Ed can fit into vents. He could break in and open it on the inside."

Ed turned to the Colonel, "We've done this before- piece of cake."

Havoc scratched his head, "I don't know about this Chief. It could be dangerous. We don't even know what's in there."

Roy huffed again in frustration. He asked to seemingly no one, "Do we even have a choice?" he turned to Edward, "Just don't kill yourself."

Ed mockingly saluted, "Roger that!"

Alphonse leaned against the building and quickly took off his foot. Ed reached in and pulled out a red screwdriver. Alphonse quickly fixed himself back into one piece. He clasped his hands together and boosted Ed up. With surprising ease, the front of the vent was open and Edward squeezed in, the metal on his boots scraping across the walls.

They all silently waited as they starred at the metal door.

The silence was broken when they heard a small click as the door was unlocked. Like a garage door, it slid up and out of sight. Edward stood there, and their lady asleep near a pile of barrels. Edward whispered, "It's open. She's asleep."

They nodded and slowly made their way in and easily scooped up the tired woman and took her into custody.


	3. Through

The military police rushed as they attempted to surround the busy street. It looked innocent enough, with small shops of restaurants, and groceries, and flower shops, but there was something- more like someone, hiding within it. Be to find that someone was nearly impossible. The clobbering of high heels on the sidewalk and the honks of cars mixed with the incoherent chatter of the other passersby filled the air, making it very difficult to hear and easy to lose someone if you weren't too careful. They knew the man they were looking for was somewhere nearby. The police were passing around orange barriers to block off the roads to keep the man from escaping. It must have worked, but now a fuming crowd of pedestrians were trapped as well. 

Team Mustang stood in front of the busy crowd. Roy swore, "Dammit! How the Hell do we find him?"

Fuery answered, "Sir if we could snake our way through, we could probably catch him."

Havoc scoffed, "In this dense of a crowd? Yeah right. Not to mention they're already mad at the police."

Mustang nodded, "I know. There's safety in numbers, so don't lose each other."

Fuery responded, "Not to mention we probably couldn't find you again.”

Breda suggested, "I mean, it's not like we can sneak past them either- not with someone in a seven-foot-tall metal armor or anything. No offense."

They looked at Alphonse for the first time in a while. He clanked as he nodded, "It's okay. I understand."

Hawkeye analyzed Alphonse and finally noticed he was carrying something, "Why do you have Ed's coat?"

Alphonse shrugged his metal shoulders, "Brother won't be so noticeable in only black."

Roy yelled, "What?!"

Hawkeye demanded the youngest Elric brother, "Alphonse, where is your brother?"

He chuckled nervously, "Uh, weaving through the crowd..."

Falman announced as he scanned the crowd, "But I can't find him."

Roy supplied him, "Of course you can't; he's too short. Fullmetal... both a genius and an idiot."

Before they could say anything else, alchemy shot through the ground as a cage on a pillar erected from the stone ground. And the leather clas Edward sat on top of it, with their criminal finally captured. He called from his perch, "Colonel! Look who I found!"

Mustang grumbled in anger before yelling to the shell-shocked military police near them, "Release the crowd and go arrest him!"

They all saluted, their black uniforms crinkling as they did so. They quickly removed the barriers, and the sea of angry citizens flooded out. A few complaints were heard, a swear or two tossed around, but no damage was done.

And they had no one but Edward to thank for it.

Edward made his way back to his brother, who readily returned his red coat. As he slipped it on, Roy berated him, "What do you think you're doing? You disobeyed direct orders!"

Ed shrugged his red shoulders, "Well, Colonel Useless, I knew it would be fine. I sneak through crowds all the time."

Roy retaliated, "That's because you're short."

Ed screeched, "DID YOU JUST CALL ME A TINY LITTLE PIPSQUEAK?"

Hawkeye calmed approached them and placed an ominous hand on each of their shoulders, "Now now boys. Let's play nice."

They both nervously sweatdropped, "Yes ma'am."

She nodded, "Good. Let's head bad to the office."

Havoc pleaded, "Can we please stop and get something to celebrate on the way? Let's get donuts."

Roy nodded, pretending that it wasn't one of the best ideas he's ever heard, "Alright. Donuts first."

Hawkeye nodded her approval as well. She looked down at Edward with soft, motherly eyes and said, "Good job, Ed."


	4. Cold

Hawkeye entered the office carrying a stack of papers. No one was doing work, and instead, they were moping at their desk. She couldn't exactly blame them either. It was just so hot. Central was not pleasant during the summer, meaning none of her co-workers would be either. It was dead quiet with the only sounds from the many sanding fans and papers rustling from their man-made wind. Everyone had a gleam of sweat, and everyone was in their undershirts or in Breda’s case, had no shirt at all. It was going to be a long day.

She walked past them and entered the Colonel's office. He had done minimum work, which was better than everyone else so far, but the fact that his fan was on full blast and his military jacket had long been discarded, it was safe to assume that he was miserable too. He grunted, frustrated, “It’s too hot.”

She nodded, “Yes it is, sir.”

He asked, “What could I possibly have to sign in this heat? No one in their right mind would be out in this- not even criminals.”

She huffed, tempted to smack the Colonel on the top side of his head, “Sir, they’re not in their right mind; that’s why they’re criminals. And you know you’re sent paperwork from all the other stations too, not just here in Central.”

He whined, “Lieutenant, don’t you think I know that?”

A tick mark appeared on her forehead, “Then stop complaining.”

Roy, deciding he didn’t want to get shot, looked back at his mountain of paperwork. He quickly scanned it before he noticed something, “Aren’t the Elrics back in Central yet? I don’t have their report.”

Riza shrugged, “I don’t know, sir. Would you like me to call the station for you?”

He shook his head, “They’ve been late before. Multiple times actually. We’ll know they’re here when the little pipsqueak and his brother come busting down our door. Again,” he whimpered, “ And I just paid for those new henges too.”

Hawkeye pleaded, “Don’t be so hard on him, Roy. It’s not like he’s kicking it in or anything.”

Mustang sharply responded, “When we are in the office, I am to be addressed by rank.”

She nodded, “Still, sir, sometimes he gets too excited and can’t control his automail too well. You know how boys are.”

Mustang nodded as well, “I know, but I wish he wouldn’t accidentally tear the door off.”

She asked, “Are you sure you don’t want me to call into the train station?”

He nodded, “I suppose you should.”

This was short-lived because when she lifted the phone off of its stand and placed the receiver next to her ear, the door in the front office burst open. Edward, who looked relatively fine except for his missing jacket, walked in with his uneven steps. Alphonse soon followed, carrying the familiar bright red coat. Havoc looked over from his sweat-covered desk and commented, ‘I didn’t know you wore sleeves under your coat.”

Ed shrugged, “Why not? If I get too hot, I could just take it off.”

Fuery, flabbergasted, readjusted his glasses as he said, “Aren’t you hot now?”

Again, Ed shrugged, “Only a little.”

Alphonse gladly cheered, “That’s why I have his coat!”

The rest of the office sighed and shook their heads. These two would never make sense to them.

Mustang called from his office, “Fullmetal! In my office!”

Ed huffed, “Whatever.”

Hawkeye opened the door for him. She offered her advice, “He’s too hot. Try not to anger him too much.”

Ed may have not liked the Colonel that much, but he knew her “advice” was more likely a threat he nodded and continued his way in. The damp Colonel leaned forward on his paper-filled desk, “Mission Report.”

Edward stood casually in front of him, “Bullfield: a small town whose main export is the coal from their mines. A man found a red stone while mining and seemingly went insane afterward. What they believed was a philosopher’s stone was actually a ruby, and the reason the man became crazy was that they were drugged. Apparently, their mayor wanted to keep their precious jewels for himself. Al and I put a stop to it, and one of their popular storekeepers has taken over for now.”

The Colonel nodded, slightly impressed- though he would never admit it, “Good work, Fullmetal. I have nothing else for you.”

Ed turned, about to leave, when Roy stopped, “One other thing, Fullmetal.”

He groaned, “I thought you didn’t have anything else for me.”

Roy nodded, “This isn’t another mission or lead, I promise. Now, How are you still wearing that?”

Edward’s eyebrows furrowed. He wasn’t accepting that, “What’d you mean?”

The Colonel pointed, “Can you stand being in leather pants and have a leather jacket-sleeves(?) On? It’s way too hot.”

Ed shrugged, “I mean, it is a little, but leather keeps the grease from my automail from staining anything.”  
Roy facepalmed, “I know that! I mean how are you not even sweating right now?”

Again, Ed shrugged, “I don’t know. Gee, Colonel, I thought you were the Flame Alchemist. You can’t stand a little heat?”

Roy slammed his fist on his desk, “It is hot! What I don’t understand is how are you not hot.”

It was a statement more than a question, but Edward kind of wanted to be. He couldn’t quite figure it out himself. He was going to irritate Roy even more, but Hawkeye opened the door, “Boys, I hope you’re playing nice.”

They both nodded, “Yes ma’am.”

Roy finally said though he didn’t really need to as Edward was already heading for the door, “You’re dismissed.”

When he entered the room again, Breda and Falman were fighting with Havoc. Havoc had lit another cigarette.

Breda complained, “Come on man, we’re hot enough. We don’t need any of your smoke.”

Falman agreed, “Yes. You will make the room hotter than it already is.”

Havoc shrugged as he tapped the ashes off, “It’ll be fine. Besides smoke and heat rise, so it shouldn’t be much of a problem in the long run.”

Breda shook his head, “If you even have a long run.”

Fuery looked up from his desk, which was covered in scattered radio parts, and announced, "I got it!"

They turned to him. Breda said, "Got what?"

Fuery explained, "How Edward can wear leather in this heat! It's because heat rises, so it's cooler when you're close to the ground!"

Falman looked over at his fellow military member, "Master Sergeant Fuery, I don't think that's such a good idea.."

Fuery shrugged, "But it's true. Hey Colonel-"

Havoc, who had since dropped his cigarette, said, "You’re about to get Chief's foot up your ass if you keep talking, Fuery.”

Roy walked out of his office, “Yes, Fuery?”

He announced, “I finally figured out why Ed’s so cool! Heat rises, so when you’re closer to the ground, you’re cooler than everyone else! It’s because he’s short!”

And Havoc was right.


	5. Protected

Havoc readied his shotgun. As far as he knew, he was alone in his section of the abandoned building, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still on edge.

They had cornered another serial killer, but unfortunately for them, he had run into an old housing district that was ready for condemnation. They had the advantage though, as the building was easily surrounded and they had called for Edward and Major Armstrong. Now they just had to wait until either the crazed man was found safely, if he ran out by himself, or for the two alchemists to show.

Havoc steadily eased himself across the rickety wooden floorboards. They creaked under his weight, which he found very concerning. Still, they knew this man was armed and dangerous, so he carried on. He tried to take light steps. The furniture scratched across the old, moldy floors. He sighed; this was hopeless.

He heard Hawkeye yell from another section of the house, “Stop right there!”

She found him. Havoc knew what he needed to do. He crouched and moved as fast as he could across the room, through a door frame, into the hallway, and finally into the living room. Their suspect, an extremely boney man, was holding a gun. He yelled at Havoc and Hawkeye, “Don’t move!”  
Havoc looked down that rotten flooring. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

The crazed man screamed again, “Don’t move! Don’t move or I’ll shoot!”

Hawkeye stood her ground and Havoc watched her. She responded coldly, “Mr. Smith. Are under arrest for the murder of 27 people. You won’t be setting off any more bombs in prison.”  
He yelled back at her, “Shut up! I said don’t move!”   
The floors creaked, and Havoc looked down to see steam. Edward and Armstrong, or at least Ed definitely, had finally arrived. Now they could use their alchemy to make the house more stable and the arrest easier. Apparently, they were trying to dry the moldy boards first. He didn’t know much about reconstruction, or he didn’t question it. The flooring churched as it became steadier. Hawkeye and Mr. Smith, however, didn’t seem to notice. They continued to yell at each other. Hawkeye quipped, “You don’t scare me, Mr. Smith. They didn’t need to die. You’re coming with us whether you want to or not.”

The flooring creaked as it twisted. Havoc noticed it slowly started to turn a darker color and be more firm. The walls were still questionable, but the floors were safe to walk on, which is all he cared about. He finally stood on the even floors as readied his shotgun at the man as well. He barked, “This has gone far enough. Put your weapon down and put your hands on your head.”

The man screamed, “No! No! No! Leave me alone!”

That when Havoc heard uneven footsteps. One light and one heavy. His mind started to race. Edward was getting close to them. He tried to distract the man, “We aren’t taking orders from you. Now drop your weapon.”

Instead of distracting him and his weapon away from Edward, the man started talking about him, “Listen to me! I have a gun! And-and I could have bombs anywhere in here. You and you two friends need to go away!” he pointed his gun at the hallway where Edward was sure to walk through, “Go away!”

Havoc panicked, “Edward! Stay where you are!”

Hawkeye coldly said, “No. That’s what he wanted you to do.”

Havoc responded to her, “Well what do you want me to do? Let him get shot?”

Hawkeye kept her gun and eyes trained on Mr. Smith, “It’s too late now. Mr. Smith, drop your weapon now, or I’ll shoot.” She shot a warning and it grazed his shoulder.

  
**Edward’s POV**

He and Major Armstrong were sent to an abandoned house where other military officials had cornered another serial killer they dubbed The Central Bomber. Normally Mustang would want to keep him as far away from cases like that as possible, but they needed alchemists that could make the house sturdier for other military members to arrest the man. Mustang could only destroy things and Armstrong wasn’t available at the time, so that left just him. They wanted him alive to answer some questions, so they couldn’t go in guns ablazing.  
  
When he arrived at the scene, about 150 officers stood around the house. There he was informed that two officers, Havoc and Hawkeye, were already inside. He knew he had to get to work fast. He didn’t want to change anything drastically in case he hurt anyone inside, so he decided to only fix the floors for now. New opened the door just hanging on by one hinge and saw how damp and moist the wooden floors were. Easy, have the water evaporate and then make it better. He had done it before multiple times, so it was fine as long as all the material was still there.

After the flooring was mainly fixed, he walked inside. He made little fixes here and there, fix some of the walls and support beams, but nothing too huge. He was doing fine until he heard yelling. He stared towards it. He could make out Havoc and Hawkeye’s voices though he couldn’t understand what they were saying. Havoc yelled at him, but he only understood his name. He was going to question them, but he heard a gunshot. It probably wasn’t good, so he panicked. He ran.

**Havoc and Hawkeye POV**

Hawkeye shot a warning, and it grazed Mr. Smith’s shoulder. It was like a domino effect. The uneven footsteps rushed to the doorframe, and Mr. Smith fired. Edward reached the door, and in slow motion, as Havoc would say later, the bullet headed straight towards him. It missed.

The obviously shell-shocked Edward stood, frozen on his one wobbly leg and one as stiff as a board. Havoc stared unbelievingly at the bullet hole mere inches above his head. If he were any taller, it would have surely killed him.

In the shocking stupor of things, Hawkeye quickly shook her head, clearing itself of its own shock factor. She noticed that the man was just as shocked as the other two. Perfect. She ran forward and tackled him. His gun flew out of his hand, and across the ground. She yelled, “Jean!”

It clicked and he was back in Military Mode™. He kicked the gun away into the corner, much farther away than the man could reach.

Edward blinked, “What’s going on.”

Hawkeye answered while she pinned the man in a headlock, “I fired first. Why didn’t you listen to Havoc’s orders?”

Edward shook his head, “I couldn’t understand what he was saying.”

She nodded, “Fine, but be more careful next time.”

The man chuckled from her grip. Havoc said, “Ok split it. What’s so funny.”

He flew into a full laughing fit. He only stopped when he started coughing. He smiled an evil smile before muttering, “Now we’re all gonna die.”

Havoc’s eyes widened. Hawkeye quickly stood and threw both her and the man she was carrying out of a nearby window, shattering the glass and startling the other officers. Havoc sternly told Edward, “We need to leave. There’s a bomb here!”

Almost like clockwork, half of the house exploded. Dust and debris drifted everywhere, blocking everyone’s view. Havoc coughed as he opened his eyes. Surprisingly, he was safe with minimal damage. However, when he looked at where Edward once stood, he panicked. Instead of Edward were piles of fallen beams stacked raggedly like a broken tepee. Broken water pipes and glass also scattered with a mixture of drywall. The walls were even missing. He yelled, “Edward!”

He ran forward, but was cut short when a familiar voice replied, “It's alright Lieutenant.”

Rocks and rubble fell as Edward squeezed through the beams and back to the surface. Havoc sighed in relief, “We have him. Let’s go.”

Havoc held his flesh hand and helped Ed move over more rocks and rubble until they were safe on the ground. Mustang and Fuery, who were waiting outside, quickly ran to them as Hawkeye passed their culprit on to someone else. Team Mustang, minus Falma, Breda, and Armstrong, formed together as the Military Police arrested Mr. Smith. Hughes, who was in a crowd of other officials that were supposed to document the whole team, noticed the five of them leaving and ran to join them. They branched off into different conversation groups as they walked together back to base. Hawkeye talked to Mustang and took the front of the group, Edward moved to Fuery and took the middle, and Havoc gravitated to Hughes who finished the group in the back. Havoc pulled out his cigarette case but sighed as they were all broken. Hughes asked, “So how did it go?”

Havoc shrugged as he put his cigarettes back into his pocket, “Hawkeye did most of it, though Edward’s alchemy helped keep us all stable for the most part. But… Good grief it was close.”

Hugh furrowed his eyebrows, “What was?”  
Havoc shrugged nonchalantly, “The chief could have died. Twice. The first time, Smith tried to shoot him, only Edward’s so short so it went right over him. Then the bomb. If he wasn’t so small, he could have died again, or at least have gotten stuck.”

Hughes threw up his eyebrows, “Are you serious?”  
He nodded, “Yeah.”

Edward looked back, “You guys talking about me.”

Hughes smiled and nodded, “Havoc said that you only survived because you’re so short.”

Ed’s face became red, “WHO ARE YOU CALLING A TINY LITTLE MIDGET WHO CAN'T REACH THE TOP SHELF?”

Feury turned pale, “You might want to run, sir.”

Havoc turned pale as well, “Noted.” He booked it as fast as he could.

Edward stayed but yelled in Havoc’s general direction, “You can’t hide forever!”  
Hughes calmly said, “You can get him after we’ve gotten back to the office.”   
Hawkeye said, “And after you shower. You’re covered in dirt.”

He nodded and sweatdropped, “Yes ma’am.”  
She nodded, “Good.”

Fuery shook his head as Hughes, “You have way too much confidence.”

He shrugged, “Why not? It’s fun.”

Fuery smiled. This group was like his family, and he loved them very much- no matter how short they were.


End file.
